12. Journal Writing: Arm Wresting with My Father - Manning

The conflicting emotions that Manning experience are a mix of competitions and love. When he was young, he didn’t feel much of the love. He only felt the competition and the bitterness of always loosing to his father. Although his father spent time with him as a boy and a teenager, he never thought that his father’s actions came out of love, he only saw his father as an obstacle that he wants to win over.

From what I learned in psychology, most males tend to find it hard to express feelings through words or tender actions like hugs. However, this does not mean that they do not feel. Most of their feelings are hidden behind what seemed to be rough interactions. As Manning grew older, though, he realized at the same time as his father, that the arm wrestling was actually a way they communicated their love: tough way to express love, but an expression nonetheless. Also as he grew older, he began to learn to express love through more affectionate ways.